As brilliant as I think my writing is, I don't want anyone to read it.
I'll be writing along thinking everything is great. I'll re-write several times until I really like it. I'll read through it several times, thinking it's just wonderful. And all the time, mind you, I'm thinking that someday someone else is going to read it.
But there's something about sending it off to be read that makes it all seem so much less brilliant.
The moment I'm putting it in the mail to be read by an editor, or taking it to a conference to be read and critiqued by multiple people, I suddenly see it with new eyes and start hyperventilating.
I'm going to be at the LDS Storymaker's conference for the next two days, and there is this thing called Boot Camp where we all sit around a table and read each other's work. As I'm gearing up for this conference, I'm getting really nervous about what I have to show. It suddenly feels all wrong.
I also have a meeting with a literary agent, who has had the first 5 pages of one of my manuscripts for the last few weeks in preparation for our meeting together, and I'm very nervous about what she is going to think about it.
Wish me luck. I feel like I'm really going to need it.
# 25 - Playing with Toys
I like to play with toys. :)
My husband brought this toy home from the kids and he and I have ended up playing with it more than they have. It's called Stringin' It. He just bought it at Wal-Mart for $20.00. He says it was in the lighting section, near the lava lamps.
Check it out here
My husband brought this toy home from the kids and he and I have ended up playing with it more than they have. It's called Stringin' It. He just bought it at Wal-Mart for $20.00. He says it was in the lighting section, near the lava lamps.
Check it out here
#24 - Writing a Picture Book
I have no idea how to write a picture book, but I want to write one so bad! I have some really great ideas - I think, anyway - but having the concept in my head and writing the words are something different entirely!
I took a class at last year's Storymaker's conference from Sharlee Glenn where I learned a LOT about picture books. I mean, I wasn't even in the right STATE before, let alone the right ballpark.
Now that I'm in the right state, though, I don't know where the CITY is, so I can still forget finding that ballpark! And even if I ever do somehow find the right park, will I find the right field, the right home base?
Here's one amazing thing Sharlee taught us last year - the pictures are the most important part of a picture book. Much as authors don't want to think so, it's true. The problem is, the words have to be written first. The words have to support the pictures, but the words have to come before the pictures are even there.
That's just one piece to a very complicated puzzle. I know the ideas I have for a couple of picture books could be amazing. I have the taste of those books on my tongue and they're SWEET! I just wish I could translate that into something someone else could sense.
I know I could write a picture book, but writing a GOOD picture book is another thing. Here's one example of a picture book I love: Castles, Caves, and Honeycombs.
Now, that is a picture book where the illustrations are gorgeous and the words support the pictures beautifully. It's very simply stated (I mean, seriously, there are roughly 3-7 words per page) and the pictures are what REALLY tell the story. Every time I read that book to my kids, I think, "GEE, this is the kind of picture book I want to write!" It's sooo hard, though.
Anyway, I guess this is just turning into a whine session, so I'm going to go have some cheese.
Happy writing to all, and to all a good night.
I took a class at last year's Storymaker's conference from Sharlee Glenn where I learned a LOT about picture books. I mean, I wasn't even in the right STATE before, let alone the right ballpark.
Now that I'm in the right state, though, I don't know where the CITY is, so I can still forget finding that ballpark! And even if I ever do somehow find the right park, will I find the right field, the right home base?
Here's one amazing thing Sharlee taught us last year - the pictures are the most important part of a picture book. Much as authors don't want to think so, it's true. The problem is, the words have to be written first. The words have to support the pictures, but the words have to come before the pictures are even there.
That's just one piece to a very complicated puzzle. I know the ideas I have for a couple of picture books could be amazing. I have the taste of those books on my tongue and they're SWEET! I just wish I could translate that into something someone else could sense.
I know I could write a picture book, but writing a GOOD picture book is another thing. Here's one example of a picture book I love: Castles, Caves, and Honeycombs.
Now, that is a picture book where the illustrations are gorgeous and the words support the pictures beautifully. It's very simply stated (I mean, seriously, there are roughly 3-7 words per page) and the pictures are what REALLY tell the story. Every time I read that book to my kids, I think, "GEE, this is the kind of picture book I want to write!" It's sooo hard, though.
Anyway, I guess this is just turning into a whine session, so I'm going to go have some cheese.
Happy writing to all, and to all a good night.
#23 - Soapbox
I don't usually use this blog to get on a soapbox, but I've decided to make an exception because this is something I feel strongly about and I don't think there are enough people out there who are saying it. First of all, I'm not a feminist.
I know that's not popular to admit to these days, but I think it's important to stand up for what you believe in. Sure, I think women should have equal rights - I think they should be paid the same as a man for the same job; I think they should be respected; I think they should be free to be individuals, etc.
But I also think most people have gone WAY too far in protecting women's rights, to the point that they have swung the pendulum the other direction. Men are degraded; a man is seen as a jerk if he wants to rest after a hard day at work. Women who raise kids all day are seen as heroic for the work they do, and the man is expected to take over when he gets home - doing the dishes, watching the children, etc. - as if he's just been kickin' back at the office all day while his wife was hard at work.
I recently saw an article that was supposedly printed in Good Housekeeping Monthly in 1955 titled The Good Wife's Guide. It's actually a fake (see Snopes for more information on that) but it is true that those kinds of opinions were common 60 years ago, although I don't believe they were really that extreme. I think whoever falsified that document was trying to rile people up about the huge injustices of the past so we would go home and be even more demanding of our husbands to make up for what their forefathers did.
I do have to say, too, that some of the points in that article are good advice to an extent. Take "Greet him with a kiss", for example. And what's wrong with the advice to have dinner ready (or at least in the process) when he gets home?
A lot of women, after years of male oppression, have decided that women shouldn't have to do ANYTHING for their husbands and that it is the husband's job to bend over backwards at all times to accommodate her.
I did a search for more information on this and came across this article. She says how I feel better than I could, although, as with anything, I don't absolutely agree with every point she makes.
I hope everyone will go home and treat their husbands a little kinder. Yes, our husbands should be good to us. They should help us with the kids and let us go out for girls' night and such. But don't they deserve the same? Shouldn't we be helping them out, letting them have a guys' night to unwind and have fun, etc.?
I know that's not popular to admit to these days, but I think it's important to stand up for what you believe in. Sure, I think women should have equal rights - I think they should be paid the same as a man for the same job; I think they should be respected; I think they should be free to be individuals, etc.
But I also think most people have gone WAY too far in protecting women's rights, to the point that they have swung the pendulum the other direction. Men are degraded; a man is seen as a jerk if he wants to rest after a hard day at work. Women who raise kids all day are seen as heroic for the work they do, and the man is expected to take over when he gets home - doing the dishes, watching the children, etc. - as if he's just been kickin' back at the office all day while his wife was hard at work.
I recently saw an article that was supposedly printed in Good Housekeeping Monthly in 1955 titled The Good Wife's Guide. It's actually a fake (see Snopes for more information on that) but it is true that those kinds of opinions were common 60 years ago, although I don't believe they were really that extreme. I think whoever falsified that document was trying to rile people up about the huge injustices of the past so we would go home and be even more demanding of our husbands to make up for what their forefathers did.
I do have to say, too, that some of the points in that article are good advice to an extent. Take "Greet him with a kiss", for example. And what's wrong with the advice to have dinner ready (or at least in the process) when he gets home?
A lot of women, after years of male oppression, have decided that women shouldn't have to do ANYTHING for their husbands and that it is the husband's job to bend over backwards at all times to accommodate her.
I did a search for more information on this and came across this article. She says how I feel better than I could, although, as with anything, I don't absolutely agree with every point she makes.
I hope everyone will go home and treat their husbands a little kinder. Yes, our husbands should be good to us. They should help us with the kids and let us go out for girls' night and such. But don't they deserve the same? Shouldn't we be helping them out, letting them have a guys' night to unwind and have fun, etc.?
#22 - Update
It was recently brought to my attention that I need to post an update on how things are going with me.
I hadn't realized how long it had been since I posted until I logged on today. Since so many of you are waiting with bated breath to see how my writing is coming along, here it is:
I've started another new book. I know, I'm crazy. I think I have an issue with finishing things I've started. Hence, the sink full of dirty dishes, the unfolded and un-put-away laundry on the bed . . . I could go on, but I'll spare you the gory details. :)
On another note, I did work on my other two books recently. I'm preparing to attend a writing conference put on by the LDS Storymakers in March. They're having a "First Chapter" contest, and so I worked on the first chapters of each of my books and sent them in.
One of my books has two story lines and I agonized over which one should be the first chapter. I ended up sending in the first chapter of one of the story lines, simply because I felt it was more polished, had a better hook, and was generally better written. Unfortunately, it's not the chapter that I think will ultimately be the first chapter of the book. Oh, well - what's done is done.
The new book I'm working on is written in a way that breaks one of the cardinal rules of writing I've learned. It seems like the only way to write this particular book, though. It feels right. I don't know if it will be publishable this way, but my first intention is to tell the story the way it comes from my heart. Worrying about whether it will get published or not is for another day.
I just finished reading an amazing book today. I read it in two days, partly because it was due back to the library yesterday and I hadn't started reading it yet, but honestly, I don't think I could have put it down even if I wasn't under a deadline. The book is by one of my absolute all-time favorite authors, Shannon Hale. I've read all of her books and loved them, but the one I just read, Book of a Thousand Days, is her best book yet, in my opinion. It's about a lady and her maid, locked in a tower for seven years. To find out more, you'll have to read it yourself. :)
After reading Book of a Thousand Days, I am both inspired and discouraged. Inspired by an amazing story written in beautiful language, and discouraged because I know I could never write like Shannon Hale. Luckily, I don't have to write like Shannon Hale. I only have to write like Jennifer Wilks, and hopefully that'll be good enough.
I hadn't realized how long it had been since I posted until I logged on today. Since so many of you are waiting with bated breath to see how my writing is coming along, here it is:
I've started another new book. I know, I'm crazy. I think I have an issue with finishing things I've started. Hence, the sink full of dirty dishes, the unfolded and un-put-away laundry on the bed . . . I could go on, but I'll spare you the gory details. :)
On another note, I did work on my other two books recently. I'm preparing to attend a writing conference put on by the LDS Storymakers in March. They're having a "First Chapter" contest, and so I worked on the first chapters of each of my books and sent them in.
One of my books has two story lines and I agonized over which one should be the first chapter. I ended up sending in the first chapter of one of the story lines, simply because I felt it was more polished, had a better hook, and was generally better written. Unfortunately, it's not the chapter that I think will ultimately be the first chapter of the book. Oh, well - what's done is done.
The new book I'm working on is written in a way that breaks one of the cardinal rules of writing I've learned. It seems like the only way to write this particular book, though. It feels right. I don't know if it will be publishable this way, but my first intention is to tell the story the way it comes from my heart. Worrying about whether it will get published or not is for another day.
I just finished reading an amazing book today. I read it in two days, partly because it was due back to the library yesterday and I hadn't started reading it yet, but honestly, I don't think I could have put it down even if I wasn't under a deadline. The book is by one of my absolute all-time favorite authors, Shannon Hale. I've read all of her books and loved them, but the one I just read, Book of a Thousand Days, is her best book yet, in my opinion. It's about a lady and her maid, locked in a tower for seven years. To find out more, you'll have to read it yourself. :)
After reading Book of a Thousand Days, I am both inspired and discouraged. Inspired by an amazing story written in beautiful language, and discouraged because I know I could never write like Shannon Hale. Luckily, I don't have to write like Shannon Hale. I only have to write like Jennifer Wilks, and hopefully that'll be good enough.
#21 - I Don't Know What I'm Doing
I don't know what I'm doing.
There are times when I feel like a little girl all dressed up in her mom's dress with a huge necklace down to her knees, clomping around in shoes 10 sizes too big with lipstick smeared across her face.
Here I am, a 30 year old woman in her 13th year of marriage with four children, and I still feel like a child.
I look around me at all the people who seem so confident and competent and seem to have everything together, and I wonder if they feel as lost as I do.
This feeling is especially prevalent when it comes to my writing. I read so many books that leave me in awe, and then I look at my own writing and wonder who I'm kidding.
I want to write something meaningful, profound, inspiring, uplifting, or at least helpful or worthwhile in some way. I have this high-follutin dream (By the way, is high-follutin even a word? Am I misspelling it so badly that the spell checker can't even recognize it?) Anyway, I have this high-follutin dream of writing the next "great American novel", something that readers for generations will read and love. But I wonder if that's even within the realm of possibility for me. I'd say it's not, but there's this tiny voice inside me that says anything is possible.
So, that's me. In a nutshell, I feel like Jerry Seinfeld trying to pass himself off as President Hinckley. Sooner or later, everyone will see I'm a fraud.
There are times when I feel like a little girl all dressed up in her mom's dress with a huge necklace down to her knees, clomping around in shoes 10 sizes too big with lipstick smeared across her face.
Here I am, a 30 year old woman in her 13th year of marriage with four children, and I still feel like a child.
I look around me at all the people who seem so confident and competent and seem to have everything together, and I wonder if they feel as lost as I do.
This feeling is especially prevalent when it comes to my writing. I read so many books that leave me in awe, and then I look at my own writing and wonder who I'm kidding.
I want to write something meaningful, profound, inspiring, uplifting, or at least helpful or worthwhile in some way. I have this high-follutin dream (By the way, is high-follutin even a word? Am I misspelling it so badly that the spell checker can't even recognize it?) Anyway, I have this high-follutin dream of writing the next "great American novel", something that readers for generations will read and love. But I wonder if that's even within the realm of possibility for me. I'd say it's not, but there's this tiny voice inside me that says anything is possible.
So, that's me. In a nutshell, I feel like Jerry Seinfeld trying to pass himself off as President Hinckley. Sooner or later, everyone will see I'm a fraud.
#20 - Falling Behind
I haven't written a single word on any writing project since November 30th.
I've thought about sitting down to write often. I had a goal to try and finish my first draft of my book by the end of December.
The problem is, I'm in one of those "off" moods. The farther I got into December, the more convinced I was that everything I've ever written is worthless. I don't know why I get in these moods.
The thing that's finally broken me out of it a little bit is that I got a new story idea that I'm pretty excited about. The problem is, I absolutely refuse to start another new project until I've finished the two projects I'm in the middle of right now. It's bad enough I let myself start a new book when I was already over 80,000 words into the first one, but to start another new one would be too much.
I also realized that the more I work on these books that I don't necessarily like right now, the more practice I'll get writing and actually finishing novels, and the more practice I get, the better my next book will be.
So, I pulled out my NaNoWriMo book this afternoon, dusted it off a little bit, and actually wrote a few words. I'm excited to be back in the writing mode and I'm going to try really hard to stay here.
Another motivation I have for finishing this book is that I just paid $20 for a session to meet with an editor at a national publishing house and I want to have this book ready to show him in March. It's time to put my nose back to the grindstone.
I've thought about sitting down to write often. I had a goal to try and finish my first draft of my book by the end of December.
The problem is, I'm in one of those "off" moods. The farther I got into December, the more convinced I was that everything I've ever written is worthless. I don't know why I get in these moods.
The thing that's finally broken me out of it a little bit is that I got a new story idea that I'm pretty excited about. The problem is, I absolutely refuse to start another new project until I've finished the two projects I'm in the middle of right now. It's bad enough I let myself start a new book when I was already over 80,000 words into the first one, but to start another new one would be too much.
I also realized that the more I work on these books that I don't necessarily like right now, the more practice I'll get writing and actually finishing novels, and the more practice I get, the better my next book will be.
So, I pulled out my NaNoWriMo book this afternoon, dusted it off a little bit, and actually wrote a few words. I'm excited to be back in the writing mode and I'm going to try really hard to stay here.
Another motivation I have for finishing this book is that I just paid $20 for a session to meet with an editor at a national publishing house and I want to have this book ready to show him in March. It's time to put my nose back to the grindstone.
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