# 26 - Fear

As brilliant as I think my writing is, I don't want anyone to read it.

I'll be writing along thinking everything is great. I'll re-write several times until I really like it. I'll read through it several times, thinking it's just wonderful. And all the time, mind you, I'm thinking that someday someone else is going to read it.

But there's something about sending it off to be read that makes it all seem so much less brilliant.

The moment I'm putting it in the mail to be read by an editor, or taking it to a conference to be read and critiqued by multiple people, I suddenly see it with new eyes and start hyperventilating.

I'm going to be at the LDS Storymaker's conference for the next two days, and there is this thing called Boot Camp where we all sit around a table and read each other's work. As I'm gearing up for this conference, I'm getting really nervous about what I have to show. It suddenly feels all wrong.

I also have a meeting with a literary agent, who has had the first 5 pages of one of my manuscripts for the last few weeks in preparation for our meeting together, and I'm very nervous about what she is going to think about it.

Wish me luck. I feel like I'm really going to need it.

3 comments:

  1. Best of luck Jen!! Believe in yourself. You have something to offer that NO ONE else does. Lots of love and positive vibes your way..... :)

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  2. You are so much braver than me!! I can't even tell you how much I admire the fact that you're actually following your author aspirations. I've said it before, but you are such an inspiration to me. I need to get off my butt and just write something already.

    Best of luck, though I doubt you'll need it.

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  3. No matter what happens, believe in yourself and learn from what others teach you. It's really hard to put something out there to be ripped apart, but it sounds like these will be positive people who will encourage and help you see how to make the improvements you want to make. Good luck and try no to be nervous!

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