# 43 - The Cause of Colic

I've discovered the cause of colic.

The bad news is, there is no cure. But, if one understands the cause, it can make the problem a little better, at least.

See, the thing that causes colic is homesickness. A baby is born, and they're filled with hope for their new life on earth. They're excited about having a body. And then, after a few weeks goes by and the reality of how long and hard this life is actually going to be sinks in, they get homesick.

I wrote a poem the other day about that homesickness and I'm going to share it here.


I'm not crying because I'm hungry
Or cold or wet or overstimulated.

No, right now I'm just crying
Because I miss heaven.

Don't get me wrong -
I love you and daddy and my home here.

But I miss my old friends
Who I just said good-bye to.

You see, I lived in heaven
For a very long time

And it was beautiful and lovely
And there was no pain.

I knew this life
Would be hard.

I knew there would be pain
And sadness and fear.

But now that I'm here,
I'm a little scared.

Pain is more painful
Than I expected.

They told me this life would be
Like the blink of an eye

Compared to my life in heaven
And all of the eternities.

But so far, I've been stuck for weeks
In this infant body

And the end
Is nowhere in sight.

So if I'm crying
And you can't seem to fix it

No matter how hard you try,
No matter how hard I cry,

Just hold me in your arms
And tell me it'll all be okay

And let me cry and mourn
For my home back in heaven.


#42 - The Power of the Mind

The mind is an amazingly powerful thing.

Last night, I had a lot of things on my mind and I kept going over and over them. Several times, I got up, turned the light on, and wrote some things down to try and get them off my mind so I could sleep, but my brain just wouldn't turn off.

After a while, I had an idea. I decided to imagine that I was inside a bubble and all the thoughts I was having were outside. When they would try to come into my mind, they would bounce off the bubble. In other words, I wouldn't let any thoughts linger in my mind or dwell on them. This was just a way to visualize it. Then I started to realize that my thoughts about keeping thoughts out of the bubble were distracting me, so I tried to banish them outside the bubble, too, which was a little more difficult, but it worked. Soon, I was asleep.

This idea came from a similar idea I got from someone during a conversation years ago. We were talking about how negative images would replay over and over in our minds, such as a person falling into a manhole. No matter how hard we tried to get the person to step over the manhole, they would keep falling inside. I don't know if anyone out there has had this problem or if I'm just weird, but I find myself getting these repetitive kinds of thoughts a lot.

The person I was talking to told me that they would imagine that image floating away off to the edges of their mind, and finally it would go away and their mind was free to imagine something else.

I was thinking about that this morning after my sleep method last night, and I think it can be applied to just about everything in life.

I've suffered from depression all my life, and I've always heard about how you have to have positive self-talk and all that. It's not that I didn't believe in it, I just didn't know how to DO it. But over the years, I've come to realize that the thing that makes me the most depressed is when I go over and over the thing that is depressing me. If I start thinking about something else, the depression will lift - at least for the time being, as short as that may be.

So, the experiment I'm going to try is banishing those thoughts outside my "bubble". There is an element of wanting to hold onto the hurt to prove just how much the person or situation has hurt me. Not consciously, of course, but it does happen. So I don't know how easily banishing those thoughts will be. But I'm going to try it. If I find myself not being able to reflect those negative thoughts, I'll have to think of what kind of ways I can visualize the act of letting go of that need to justify my pain by holding onto it.

I also want to apply these ideas to my writing. When I think what I'm writing is no good, I can just put that thought outside the bubble or send it flying off in a balloon.

This whole idea is bringing a quote to mind that I just love. I think it applies beautifully and demonstrates just how important our thoughts are in shaping our lives.

Sow a thought and you reap an action;
sow an act and you reap a habit;
sow a habit and you reap a character;
sow a character and you reap a destiny.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

#41 - Book Review

I want to write a book review, but I'm only on page 27.

The book is The Holy Secret by James L. Ferrell

First of all, I have to out myself as an Arbinger Institute junkie. I've been trying to process their writings since Bonds That Make Us Free was just a bound manuscript called, "Bonds of Anger, Bonds of Love." They've also written another book called The Anatomy of Peace, which is also great.

James L. Ferrell is the managing director of the Institute, and is also the author of The Peacegiver, one of my all-time favorite books. I actually have two copies on the shelf - one to lend out to friends and family, and the other to keep in case I don't get the extra back. :)

So, when I saw "The Holy Secret" in the bookstore, I bought it without a second thought. Now, only 27 pages into the book, insights are opening up all over the place. For instance, does anybody not know the scriptures, "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents..." or "My father dwelt in a tent"? I've had those two pretty much memorized since I was a teenager. But just now, I saw them in whole new ways.

The very beginning of the book didn't draw me right in, and I kept going, just holding on to hope that Ferrell wouldn't let me down. So when you start reading, don't put it down if the story doesn't immediately grab you.

Of course, coming from a person who's only read 27 pages, you can take all of this with a grain of salt. But you can't ignore my advice to read "The Peacegiver," "The Anatomy of Peace," and "Bonds That Make Us Free". Those are all excellent books and I hope all of you go out and get them today. And I'll be back here soon to write a proper review of The Holy Secret.

Happy reading. :)

Post Edited to Add:

Sorry, I never did do a full book review of this book. I did end up really loving the book and I felt like I learned a lot of things about how to study the scriptures, worship on the Sabbath day, and learn from the temple ceremony.

But, having said that, I felt that the book turned to a different focus throughout the book. Instead of teaching us how to learn from those things, I felt that he started teaching us what we should be learning from them. It has been a while since I finished the book and I'm sorry I neglected to come right back here and write my impressions. I just didn't do it because I wasn't sure at that point what to write. But now, I can't remember what I wanted to write! I guess either way, I lose. :D

I did still really like the book and I learned a lot from it. I just wasn't quite as excited about it by the end, and the above thoughts are the only real reason I can think of as to why that was the case.